Stop and think

Every time we "act out" in our addiction, whether it be going to a porn site or going to a strip club, we have a choice.  Many times when people get into recovery for sexual addiction they say that they can't help themselves from "acting out".  This is probably true for them because they haven't trained themselves to do otherwise.  They have learned to enable a certain coping mechanism to automatically engage when needed.

One of things that I feel called to do is help other women stop and think about where their lives are headed and point out the consequences of certain behaviors.  I know women who strip for money, have one night stands, visit porn sites, masturbate habitually, visit swinger clubs and more. I have done the same in the past and it has affected my life.  When you're younger and you hear things in magazines about how to have a better sex life or how to turn on your man, you tend to believe what you read.  Some of it may be true, but at a cost.  They don't usually tell you about the cost involved. It's like bait and switch.

stop the addiction
stop the addiction
When your view of sex is focused on an orgasm and the act involved in getting there, you miss the real point of our sexuality and you miss a great deal of joy in life.  Sex was designed to bring a man and a woman together in an intimate exchange to procreate life and solidify a commitment to a relationship.  When you focus only on the orgasm you become "me" focused and not the selfless person God wants us to be.  Sure it's great to have an orgasm, but it's not everything.  But that's not what the world tells us.  There is so much joy when you can give pleasure to your spouse and watch him enjoy the pleasure as a gift

When trust is broken it causes negative consequences for years.  I have caused pain in our relationship because of lies I have told in our past, when I was stuck in my sexual addiction. Because of the lies, I broke trust and even now after 7 years of consistent recovery, we still have issues arise in our relationship due to the natural consequences of my actions. As much as we have moved on and trust one another sometimes doubts creep in and cause us to feel scared or insecure about our fidelity.
I pray that women everywhere would stop and think of what consequences, good or bad, their actions and behaviors may have in the future.  I didn't think that many things I did would have any affect on my husband or family. What they didn't know can't hurt them, but it can.  God knows all of what we do, and if we live as if we are constantly being filmed, it may help us to choose differently.  Stop and Think!

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